11th July 2020
  • 9:11 pm Through the Eyes of Ides Ofune – Women Shouldn’t Have to Choose Between Motherhood and Higher Education
  • 3:24 pm Wounded or spoiled: The childhood roots of narcissism by Godbless Akaighe
  • 12:11 am Step by step approach to managing your anger by Emmanuel Etti
  • 8:29 pm IT’S NOT WORTH LOSING SLEEP – Step by step approach on how to get over past hurts by PhD Researcher Godbless Akaighe
  • 3:54 pm Book Review: Sheryl Sandberg’s Lean In and the Career Challenges for Women who want families
  • 1:15 am Implications of the Covid-19 pandemic on working mothers
Rape is a crime

Rape is a crime!

I have come to realise that most people did not watch all parts of the video where Busola Dakolo recounted her horrid rape experience where she alleged that Biodun Fatoyinbo, the Senior Pastor of the Commonwealth Zion Assembly, committed the crime.  Please watch the videos below and not the few clips going around on social media.

In the video, she answered all the burning questions you wanted to ask. Busola actually spoke up.  She said she told her sisters and only her brother who then came in from Abuja to Ilorin, took a knife and went to Biodun Fatoyinbo’s house. Coincidentally, other pastors were there. She named them – Pastor Folarin Ogunsola and and Pastor Wole Soetan. They all came to her house and pleaded with her and her family to forgive. They claimed that it was the work of the devil. She said one of the Pastors threatened to leave the church because according to him, this has gone on for too long. So yes, she isn’t just speaking up now, she actually told everyone around her. But why speak publicly now? Well, she said people were going around claiming that she dated the pastor, questioning the paternity of her children and also alleging that she also collected money from him. She wanted to set the records straight that it wasn’t consensual, she was raped! Her testimony means that there were witnesses – the pastors she mentioned. They would have to debunk her claim and deny that nothing of that sort took place. Until then, #istandwithbusola.

Rape is a crime!

Personally, I have come far in life to know that there are people of questionable morals who never believe that there are people more disciplined than them. They are the ones who have made men seem like savage animals who have no control over themselves. They say once a man sees a woman, he loses it. They then try to blame the woman for being a woman. It seems as if only women were born with the natural sin. The fact that she is a woman is a sin and all parts of her body bring about sin to a man. To those people, I say shame on you! Big shame on you! It’s always what was she wearing? How did she look at him? I remember a girl once told me, don’t you know your fair skin seduces a man? Shame on you!

To men of God I will say this. There will always be vulnerable women – women with absent fathers, heartbroken women, emotional women, divorced women who need help etc. If as a man and Pastor, you know you are incapable of dealing with such issues without having sex with them, kindly hand over such women to senior female members of the church for counselling. Don’t form bravado and fall into sin. Then when you are held accountable, you blame the girls for throwing themselves at you or the devil. Shame on you!

Read more: Opinion|Why I Am Angry With Feminists

Rape is a crime!

Because I am of the old school and very traditional, I will be training my children thus:

1. For a girl, don’t ever be alone with a man in a private place whether in your house, office or anywhere. I don’t care what modern society says, just don’t.

2. For a boy, don’t ever be alone with a girl in order to protect yourself from whatever accusation. You would also have the clout to say you have never raped a girl. The Vice President of the USA, Mike Pence, has never had any rape accusation levelled against him due to his rule of not dining alone with women. Also, don’t rape. No means No.

3. Protect yourself by avoiding walking late at night anywhere whether there are CCTV cameras, floodlights or not. People claim men will always be men and that they savage beasts who can’t help themselves. So please, help yourself. Before it gets dark, find your way home.

4. Trust only your father. Your father because I know him and because I carried you in my body for nine months, I am telling you he is the only man you can trust until you are old enough to discern for yourself and find that man who you can trust on your own.

5. Despite all of the above, life happens. It could happen to you even if you take all precautions. If it does, speak to me. I will make sure the perpetrator is brought to book. Yes, to err is human, to forgive is divine. But I am not divine. It’s only Jesus who has claimed divinity and so I won’t forgive. When the perpetrator gets to heaven, God will forgive him but here on earth where humans live, I won’t forgive. I will also hold your hands, counsel you to make sure you heal and lead a positive life.

#rapeisacrime #protectwomen #istandwithbusola

Read more:Sub-Saharan Africa Is The Only Region In The World Where Women Make Up The Majority Of Entrepreneurs

Ides Ofune

Ides Ofune is currently a PhD Student at the University of Leeds. Her research focuses on civil society and accountability in improving the quality of education. She is the founder of Desert Bloom Initiative and editor of Desert Bloom Advisory. Ides is very passionate about education and creating an inclusive society. She speaks French and English fluently. She can be reached at info@desertbloomadvisory.com

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